war prayer

There's debate about how military chaplains should be allowed to pray.

How about this (From Mark Twain's the "War Prayer"):
"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it -- for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."

god hates shrimp

In case you haven't already seen it: God Hates Shrimp.

say hello, wave goodbye

A fitting piece of verse, which suits my mood, as autumn moves ever closer to waving goodbye:

That time of year thou mayst in me behold
When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
Bare ruined choirs, where late the sweet birds sang.

--William Shakespeare
From Sonnet 73: That Time Of Year Thou Mayst In Me Behold

elephants and donkeys

Matty G has a good discussion going about the future of American politics. I especially enjoyed Joe's (of hearts and bones) comments about a possible Hillary Clinton presidential run: "As far as the candidates go, it is a decent list. Hillary might be a total bitch, but she is a good politician. The Clintons understand the idea of representing the people, and seek to govern in a non-polarizing way."

Personally, I'd be surprised if Hillary got the Democratic nomination. In my mind, too many people flat out hate her, and the last thing the Democrats want to do is mobilize the Republican base for the Republicans.

I watch "This Week with George Stephanopoulos" every Sunday morning. George Will, a conservative commentator from the Washington Post, is a regular guest. He had an interesting observation about the Republican party this week. He observed that the party is composed of two groups: the libertarians, and those motivated by religious issues such as abortion and same-sex marriage.

One wonders how long these two groups will be able to remain under the tutelage of the same party. The religious side of the party desires government interaction to accomplish their religious agenda. This, of course, is diametrically opposed to the fundamental belief of the libertarian sect within the Republican party.

kansas

As I was preparing a diatribe intent on lambasting the Kansas school board for mandating their students be taught creationism, I happened across a piece of literature which made my point for me. From God and Human Suffering by Douglas John Hall:

The sense of the present wrongness of the world inevitably leads the mind to ask after the right way would be. What should be?

One of the many things that is objectionable about making creation doctrine into a supposedly scientific theory about the world's beginnings--as has been happening again in our time under the impact of a shallow and reactionary "evangelicalism"--is that it detracts from this basic function of the Christian confession concerning creation. Creation is not a theory of how the world came to be--not a cosmogony...it's faith's confession concerns what came to be, and why.

When God saw what had been made, God found it to be very good (Gen 1:31). But things do not always seem "good." The world around us is generally not good. We humans missed it up, just as we continue to mess it up. God continues to create, even as we continue to destroy.

I understand some Christians disagree with me. For them, the biblical creation story is a cosmogony. What I don't understand is why Christians who think this way insist their religious view be taught in a science classroom. If you desire religion to be taught in public schools, then push for more religious studies courses. I actually think this would be a good thing.

Finally, the biggest problem I have with creationist interpretations of the biblical creation myths is that it encourages the "God of the gaps" phenomenon. "God of the gaps" is the reasoning model which concludes anything science can't explain must be God. For example, before scientific reasoning formalized the idea of gravity, "God of the gaps" reasoning would have concluded that apples fall from trees because God makes them fall.

Science continually seeks to understand more and more; the breadth of scientific knowledge expands constantly. If our view of God is limited to that which science can not explain (yet), God will progressively shrink as science progressively grows its sphere of explanation.

brother p-rob, part 2

Pat Robertson never fails to amuse. The "Take him out!" mantra was good fun, and now brother p-rob has provided the Daily Show with more material. Apparently, God is ready to punish all towns which don't teach "intelligent design."



Look for an upcoming poll: What's your favorite p-rob doctrine?

a perfect cup

I'm a whiskey snob, but I'm also a coffee snob. Several mornings a week I drop into my local Dunn Bros for a cup of their fresh dark roast. Other mornings, I make my own brew. Just as I am continuously questing for the perfect whiskey, I'm also forever seeking the perfect cup. Pouring a good tumbler of whiskey is simple: open bottle, dispense elixir. Pouring a good cup of coffee has proven a bit more problematic, as there's a bit more involved.

To date, my favorite coffee maker is the Cuisinart Grind & Brew. A key element to a good cup of coffee is freshly ground beans. This usually entails a messy process involving two small appliances, the coffee grinder and the coffee maker. In another feat of American laziness, the Grind & Brew eliminates the frustration of trying to transfer your beans to your coffee maker without dumping half the coffee grinds on the floor.

The Cuisinart Grind & Brew is the pinnacle of home brewed convenience, but a French Press is the queen of home brewed excellence. I've recently begun using a French Press, and it produces the best tasting coffee this side of the coffee shop.

Here's how it works:
1) Put water into tea kettle, proceed to bring water to a boil.

2) Grind beans. A french press demands a coarse grind to prevent unwanted coffee residue to pass through the press.

3) Put hot water into a tea pot, allowing the tea pot to warm up. Unlike the traditional coffee maker, you're not going to want to keep the coffee in the French Press when it's done brewing. I figure you have two options: turn on the warming pad thingy on your traditional coffee pot; or use the cute little tea pot you received as a wedding present. I usually prefer option 2 because it gives me an excuse to utilize an accessory I'd otherwise never pick up.


4) Put coarsely ground beans into press, fill press with water, give it a quick stir, and attach lid to the press.

5) Wait 4-5 minutes.

6) While waiting, drink big glass of water to offset the upcoming diuretical effects of an intense caffeine buzz.

7) Depress plunger slowly.

8) Pour coffee into coffee pot and/or your favorite mug.

ana, day 731

Note: this was initially titled "ana, day 730" but a smart ass co-worker pointed out 2004 was a leap year, which makes ana 731 days old, not 730. Please forgive my indiscretion.

Happy Birthday Ana.

alito

Congratulations are in order. President Bush successfully avoided nominating a woman or a minority to the supreme court. All hail the white man, maker of America, defender of the republic. We the people? Just a pipedream. We the white men.

President Bush is a genius. His nomination of Harriet Miers was but a clever ruse - stick it in your ear Sandra and Laura. Obviously, Mr. Bush nominated Ms. Miers because she was incredibly unqualified, ensuring her nomination would flop, and Mr. Bush would be able to accomplish his ultimate goal - appoint another white man. Our country is a melting pot (or maybe a gumball machine), but thank God our President is smart enough to know white men make better judges, lawyers, and lawmakers.

As for my opinion of Judge Alito, I'm reserving comment. I simply haven't read enough about his past opinions to make a qualified judgment. I would, however, like to take this opportunity to remind liberals and conservatives alike that supreme court judges do more than make decisions related to a woman's right to an abortion.

saint innocent

After graduating, my wife moved to Mexico. It's one of the qualities I most admire about her. She lived at an orphanage near Rosarito, a Baja town
30 miles south of Tijuana.

Shortly after we were married, we visited the orphanage so "the boys" could meet me. I'm the gringo in the red hat.

I wish I knew Spanish. I'm fairly convinced they made fun of me the entire time, and Elaine won't tell me what they were saying.

I'll never forget how hard they laughed when they convinced me to try some god-forsakenly hot pepper. I like hot food. I like really hot food. I put Tabasco on damn near everything. But jesus help me, I thought I was going to die.

Elaine and I still speak often of "the boys." When I was visiting the orphanage, I remember thinking about how my definition of "need" is different than most world citizens; most of what I "need" is actaully just I "want." So why does it take a visit to Mexico to realize this?

Recently some of "the boys" came to see us. I was reminded that helping change lives usually means your life is changed in the process, and that which begins as kindness quickly evolves into mutual respect, satisfaction, and shared human experience. We give because we receive.

I know what I'd do if I won the lottery. I'd start an orphanage in Mexico.

old friends

I like surfing the blogosphere by clicking other people's blogrolls. I keep running into old friends.
The best bass player to ever play in my band: Joe.
The best bass player to ever play in kyle's band: Matt.
The best bass player to never play in our band: Tim.

tidbits

some other good sites i've come across with pictures of minnesota's autumn colors:
timbu went north.
some guy with lots of cool photographs.
pearl has a picture of Big Sandy. (I went to bible camp there when I was in grade school)
somebody with a blog i found using google has some nice pictures of Baker Park Reserve.


I have posted about my love/hate relationship about Walmart.
Now you can watch a dvd about the real walmart: The High Cost of Low Price. (Thanks to Pearl for the link)

the fifth season

There aren't many things I enjoy about living in Minnesota. Actually, I live in Wisconsin now. Strange. Since I live in a suburb? of Saint Paul, I still consider myself a Minnesotan. I watch the Twin Cities news channels, I still read the Star Tribune, I cheer for the Timberwolves (but not the Vikings and their crazy sex parties), and I work in Minnesota.

I say goodbye to the motherland 5 times a week, when I pass the "Thanks For Visiting" sign on the way across the river. So that makes me cheesehead now. I even sent a friend of mine one of those grotesque cheese hats. He's a 4th grade teacher. He says his kids love the hat.

Living in Minnesota - there's not much good about it. Except the schools, low crime rate, nice people, plenty of good paying jobs, the best Big Ten University in the Country, a metropolitan area with an abundance of entertainment options, and a populace gracious enough to give a pro wrestler a chance at being governor. We even make gas out of corn. Take that napa valley.

O.k., so I suppose there are some positive things about living in Minnesota. But the weather is not one of them. Unless of course you enjoy scenic drives along the river looking at the leaves in the fall. Or walking through a park as winter flakes fall and land softly on your coat (preferably a stylish one from J.Crew). Or smelling new life blooming all around you in the spring....

As I write this, I realize I enjoy 4 out of the 5 seasons. I relish Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. I appreciate living in a place where I can experience nature's natural rhythm. But I hate the fifth season.

I don't know what to call it. But local residents know what I'm talking about. In Minnesota, Winter ends sometime around January 15th. But Spring doesn't start until April. The space between might as well be called death. Nothing grows. Nobody goes outside. Ice discourages the paperboy from delivering the paper all the way to your front door. Most people drink more. All color is gone. Have you ever had to change a tire on the side of the road when it's 15 below? I have. It's enough to make you want to start the car on fire. At least it would be warm.

Maybe the fifth season is why I appreciate Autumn, even as I dread it. I love the colors because I know they will soon be gone, pushed away by the bleakness of the fifth season. I hate the colors because I know they will soon be gone, only their memory will remain, and I'll be forced to endure another fifth season.

I know the fifth season is why I enjoy spring so much. You remember the feeling when an old friend schedules a visit, but reserves their plane fare 7 months in advance? And you wait and wait and wait, eager to see your old friend, and then finally, after 7 months of anticipation, they finally arrive, you go to dinner on the way home from the airport, and conversation is just as refreshing as it was the last time you spoke. That is what spring in Minnesota feels like.

Minnesota isn't too bad. It's the fifth season which drives people mad. But what the hell, at least it gives us an excuse to have a tall drink. Or 16.

samuel, day 6

Dear Samuel,

Why must you pee on me?

Yesterday, at the exact moment I removed your diaper from your skin, you started to pee. You hit me in the face. I swore like a drunken sailor, which brings me to life lesson #1:
Never curse in front of a lady

...Especially if the lady happens to be your wife or your mother.

In my case, both my mother and wife were present when I was changing your diaper, and thus both heard my admirable use of some of the finer words in the English language. However, neither of them think fuck is an appropriate word for a 5 day old baby to hear.

Now, I can't say I disagree with them, but I'd like someone pee in your eye someday and we'll see how you respond.

In the meantime, I'm sorry Samuel. I'll try to be a better father. My outside words should stay outside.

samuel

Dear Samuel,

Today is 10/10/05. You were born today.

Mommy kicked me awake at 3:00AM because her tummy hurt. She told me it was time you moved out. So she cleaned the toilet--never argue with a pregnant woman, Samuel. Then she did her hair--never argue with a pregnant woman, Samuel. She said we had time. I wasn't so sure--but don't ever be so stupid as to argue with a pregant woman, Samuel.


While your Mommy was risking having you pop out in the car ride to the hospital, I went and filled up with gas. On the day you were born, gas was expensive.


Samuel, you have a big sister named Ana. She was excited to meet you, even if we had to interupt her dreams at 5:00AM.


We arrived at the hospital at 6:00 AM. You moved out of your Mommy's tummy at 10:00 AM. I must say you have a knack for round numbers: born 10:00 10/10/2005.


Welcome to the family. Another 2 months and I'll let you have some of my whiskey.


And I know your sister seems big now, but I'm counting on you to protect her. Someday some boy is going to want to kiss her when I'm not around and it's your job to kick the living shit out of him.


Welcome to the world, my son. Eat well. Drink better. Strive to be happy. Pray often, even when you think it's bullshit. Don't be afraid to cry. Remember the world is beautiful. Be thankful for everything, including hardship. Smile. Smile big. You've got your mom's genes; your smile can light a room.

...and don't forget to protect your sister.