dream of dreams

I’m told everyone dreams while they sleep. I seldom remember my dreams. Maybe that’s why I dream so much while I’m awake.

Last night I dreamed about a priest. Not like that—don’t be so sick. I was preparing the meal for a wedding party, and the priest and I were talking in the kitchen. He was bored with the wedding, bored with people pretending like they cared about him. I kept giving him wine and telling him he should think less. At one point I asked him what kind of wine he wanted. I picked up the two bottles that were sitting on the counter, reading the labels of each bottle. He could have Jack Daniels wine or white wine. He choose white, I went with Jack. It tasted good.

Then I dreamt I should buy the latest Joss Stone album.

bring beer

do you ever wonder what it would be like to go to a major league baseball game and bring your own liquor? er...let me rephrase, what if you could bring your own liquor into the baseball stadium without having hide it in a lotion bottle tucked neatly into the side pocket of your (or your date's) purse? In short, if you want a drink, you wouldn't ahve to pay $15.23 for it. Baseball games would be BYOB.

The fine people of Great Britain know how things should work. Cricket is BYOB. I love cricket. And some money hungry bastards are planning on taking away the right of British citizens to bring their own bottles of liquor to an all day cricket match/game/whatever the hell you call it.

Read about it here.

building a mystery

My wife and I bought a house-house last year. It came with a furnace, but it didn't come with grass. The owner built the place and then his job transfered him to California a month later. In a bit of a pickle - I hate mowing grass. Grass makes me seeze. But the city and my neighbors would like it if when they drive past my house they didn't have to wonder if a pheasant is going to fly out in front of their car.

Furthermore, we got such a good deal on the house that I overlooked the fact that it is located smack dab on the biggest lot in the neighborhood. And now that the time has finally come to stop pissing off my neighbors and grow some grass, I'm reminded that my lot is the biggest in the neighborhood. I have a big ass yard. My landscaping adventures have begun.

Things I plan on doing this spring/summer:
1) Build a retaining wall behind my house. There is a big "privacy burm" that is pushing it's way into my backyard. The backyard needs to be a least big enough to fit a tent for my first outdoor party, complete with kegs and inflatable boxing ring. And a swingset for the kids.

2) Remove weeds.

3) Regrade the lot.

4) Kill patchy grass in the front yard. Apparently the previous owner took the time to throw some grass seed in the front yard and then forgot to water it.

5) Purchase 100 yards of black dirt and spread it out in preperation for seeding.

6) Put that edging crap around the house.

7) Trying my hand at sowing some grass seed. Point of interest: I once attempted to grow herbs but they all died.

8) Plant some bushes and some trees.

9) Pray retaining wall actually retains the dirt behind it.

10) Build deck. The grill needs a home.

11) Get 2nd job to pay for landscaping.

dear mr middle aged man @ the coffee shop

dear mr middle aged man @ the coffee shop with free internet access near my home,

I was sitting in the coffee shop last night writing a paper about the nature of the kingdom of heaven. You were sitting a few tables away, with your computer monitor facing me. You mentioned you liked my laptop.

I too enjoy the free internet access at the coffee shop. It's becoming a requirement when I decide my patronage to coffee establishments.

Just one question Mr middle aged man,
Must you serf for internet porn in public?

dear mr gates

Mr Gates wishes he wasn't so rich.

Dr. Mr. Gates,

I'm sorry you're so rich. I hope things get better.

-JB