nevermind

My good friend anonymous, commenting on my endorsement of the drunk-dialing preventor, made me rethink my endorsement.

You see, most people aren't terribly enamored with talking about what they really believe or what they are really thinking. Especially me. This makes it hard to be in a serious romantic relationship with another person, unless the other person enjoys deep conversations with the conversational equivelent of a 14 year old.

Enter alcohol. Problem solved.

Did you ever see that movie The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood? I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoyed the movie. There's an exceptional line from the movie - "ever since you quit drinkin' you quit makin' sense."

I officially recant my endorsement of the phone that prevents drunk-dials. The risk of not telling someone what you really feel far outweighs the risk of making a complete ass out of yourself. Drunk-dialing keeps people talking.

Cheers.

money for my friends

A friend of mine recently sent me an email and asked me if I would post my thoughts on tithing. Here goes…

The preacher says:
Tithing is a word used in some churches to describe the church'’s particular theology about how each church member's money should be distributed. Namely, a tithe” is usually considered 1/10 of the church member's income. Some churches believe everyone should be “tithing,” meaning that everyone who attends the church should be cutting checks to the church equal to 10% of their income.

Considering this concept, I wonder: 10% of pre-tax or post-tax income? What about investment income and dividends? If I own investment properly, can I deduct my monthly costs from my monthly income? Do I pay weekly, or can I schedule my 10% payments to coincide with my bi-monthly pay checks? If I have two dependents, and both are working, am I responsible for their 10%? What about gambling income? Is that tithed as well? And would the church consider a barter system? If I mow the church lawn once a week, can I get a 4% discount? And the real humdinger: considering the IRS grants money given to churches as tax deductible, at the end of the year should I determine how much my church-giving tax deduction saved me in federal and state tax, and then pay that amount back to the church?

My ethical convictions, spurred by my nuanced Christian beliefs, demand we give willingly to the widows and orphans, the poor and destitute. After all, theirs is the kingdom of heaven, lest we forget. I believe any church which mandates a financial requirement is a church I don't have much interest in attending. Churches aren't fraternities, God is not for sale. For some families, 0% is too much--every dime that is earned is needed to buy food, clothes, and pay rent.

crickets, year 2

Crickets, year 1.

Do you remember when you went to coffee shops without your computer?
Do you remember when instead of writing in your blog you wrote in a journal?
Do you remember when you spent warm summer nights chatting with friends instead typing IM's to people you don't really know?
Do you remember when you believed in god? Does it make you happy or sad?
Do you remember when you knew you knew everything about life, love, politics, god, art, music, literature, culture?

The crickets are singing again. God is no longer sighing. This year, I think god is sad. The world has betrayed god.

Too many things crowd our desire for simplicity. Things progress and develop slowly, then vanish, abdicating their meaning to a fleeting passing of memory. Do I seem obtuse? Consider the circumstances of life around your life: the sorrows and joys of friends and family. My memory is full:
The passing of loved ones, bringing with it the familiar sting of guilt for not appreciating the person before they were gone.
The marriage of friends, and basking in their joy. Love is simple.
A brother betrayed, his relationship destroyed.
A brother renewed, mature in his sorrow.
My kids, my everything.

drunk dialing

This is fantastic. A phone that prevents you from drunk dialing people.

new music

I've pleaded for suggestions for new music in this space before. Thanks for the help.
Some of my new favorites:

1. Citizen Cope, The Clarence Greenwood Recordings
2. Andrew Bird, The Mysterious Production of Eggs
3. The Fray, How to Save a Life
4. Death Cab For Cuite, every album they've ever made
5. Anna Nalick, Wreck Of The Day

i want one

A story about a hybrid car that gets 100 mpg. Click here.
If I every buy a diesel motor car, I'm going to make my own gas. Click here.

In an unrelated note, John Kerry is still an idiot. Click here. He's for pulling the troops out of Iraq...eventually...but he's really for fighting the war in Iraq...unless he's against it, because he voted for it before he voted against it, which means he's for the troops, for Iraq, and for a better America....eventually....

a room with a view

The view from my Auckland Hotel Room. 

NZ

The good news is that I took a trip to Auckland, New Zealand last week. The bad news is that I was there for work, so my family wasn't with me, and I didn't get to see much. My days were mainly:
1) Get coffee.
2) Get another coffee because that last one was insanely tasty.
3) Go to customer site hopped up on caffeine.
4) Return to hotel.
5) Relieve stress with some whiskey
6) Do some more work in my hotel room.
7) Have another drink and wander around downtown Auckland
8) Go to bed
9) Wake up at 3am to screaming fans at the pub next to my hotel. Stupid World Cup. 

hockey hair

Congratulations (not really) to faithful reader Joshua and his lame-ass Carolina Hockey team. I'm content in leaving Nascar alone. Please give us Hockey back. North Carolina winning Lord Stanley's cup is like Canada winning the World Cup. Only much worse. And what's worse, I had to watch a bunch of red necks stand for the entire game, even though the arena has seats. Hockey fans should not act like Duke basketball fans. Sit down and have 13 beers for chrissake, eh?



And Joshua - I fully expect you to grow some hockey hair. Also, real hockey fans riot and burn cars when they win championships. Go Gophers.

whistlin' dixie

I bought the latest Dixie Chicks album today. It sounds good on my ipod.
I especially enjoy "Not Ready to Make Nice." I interpret the lyrics as a response to criticism directed toward D.Chicks criticisms of Commander-in-dufus Bush. Here's a sample:

I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby,
With no regrets and I don't mind saying,
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger.
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down,
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should

dream of dreams

I’m told everyone dreams while they sleep. I seldom remember my dreams. Maybe that’s why I dream so much while I’m awake.

Last night I dreamed about a priest. Not like that—don’t be so sick. I was preparing the meal for a wedding party, and the priest and I were talking in the kitchen. He was bored with the wedding, bored with people pretending like they cared about him. I kept giving him wine and telling him he should think less. At one point I asked him what kind of wine he wanted. I picked up the two bottles that were sitting on the counter, reading the labels of each bottle. He could have Jack Daniels wine or white wine. He choose white, I went with Jack. It tasted good.

Then I dreamt I should buy the latest Joss Stone album.

bring beer

do you ever wonder what it would be like to go to a major league baseball game and bring your own liquor? er...let me rephrase, what if you could bring your own liquor into the baseball stadium without having hide it in a lotion bottle tucked neatly into the side pocket of your (or your date's) purse? In short, if you want a drink, you wouldn't ahve to pay $15.23 for it. Baseball games would be BYOB.

The fine people of Great Britain know how things should work. Cricket is BYOB. I love cricket. And some money hungry bastards are planning on taking away the right of British citizens to bring their own bottles of liquor to an all day cricket match/game/whatever the hell you call it.

Read about it here.

building a mystery

My wife and I bought a house-house last year. It came with a furnace, but it didn't come with grass. The owner built the place and then his job transfered him to California a month later. In a bit of a pickle - I hate mowing grass. Grass makes me seeze. But the city and my neighbors would like it if when they drive past my house they didn't have to wonder if a pheasant is going to fly out in front of their car.

Furthermore, we got such a good deal on the house that I overlooked the fact that it is located smack dab on the biggest lot in the neighborhood. And now that the time has finally come to stop pissing off my neighbors and grow some grass, I'm reminded that my lot is the biggest in the neighborhood. I have a big ass yard. My landscaping adventures have begun.

Things I plan on doing this spring/summer:
1) Build a retaining wall behind my house. There is a big "privacy burm" that is pushing it's way into my backyard. The backyard needs to be a least big enough to fit a tent for my first outdoor party, complete with kegs and inflatable boxing ring. And a swingset for the kids.

2) Remove weeds.

3) Regrade the lot.

4) Kill patchy grass in the front yard. Apparently the previous owner took the time to throw some grass seed in the front yard and then forgot to water it.

5) Purchase 100 yards of black dirt and spread it out in preperation for seeding.

6) Put that edging crap around the house.

7) Trying my hand at sowing some grass seed. Point of interest: I once attempted to grow herbs but they all died.

8) Plant some bushes and some trees.

9) Pray retaining wall actually retains the dirt behind it.

10) Build deck. The grill needs a home.

11) Get 2nd job to pay for landscaping.

dear mr middle aged man @ the coffee shop

dear mr middle aged man @ the coffee shop with free internet access near my home,

I was sitting in the coffee shop last night writing a paper about the nature of the kingdom of heaven. You were sitting a few tables away, with your computer monitor facing me. You mentioned you liked my laptop.

I too enjoy the free internet access at the coffee shop. It's becoming a requirement when I decide my patronage to coffee establishments.

Just one question Mr middle aged man,
Must you serf for internet porn in public?

dear mr gates

Mr Gates wishes he wasn't so rich.

Dr. Mr. Gates,

I'm sorry you're so rich. I hope things get better.

-JB