o mercy, what I wouldn't give
to have the things that mean the most
not to mean the things i miss
I was young once. To many, I'm still young - i'm but 27 years old. But as I write '27', i feel older than hell. Remember when you could get drunk 6 days a week and still feel great? I can't even get drunk any more. Every time I try, I have two drinks and decide I'd rather go to sleep.
I'm married, I have a beautiful child. I work too many hours. I'm everything I once wished I wouldn't be-just another average guy.
But I'm happy. How could I not be? I have a beautiful daughter. We have another little one on the way.
And you should see my wife. I married up. Way up. I like taking my wife places because it makes me look better. People meet me and think "well, whatever. At least he doesn't smell." Then they meet my wife and decide they like hanging out with me. No shit.
And my job ain't half bad. The people are nice and the pay is good.
Disclaimer: that's the most I'll likely ever say about my place of employment. People get fired for what they write in blogs, you know.
Isn't it strange how idealistic we are in our youth? I used to think I could change the world, could make the world a better place. But now, I just want to make sure my daughter thinks the world is beautiful.
Yesterday, I posted a picture of Ana. A wise reader commented: "you will forever be a rich man." Indeed, my friend.
2 comments:
The world IS beautiful and I can tell that you will find ways to show that beauty to your daughter.
And not just in the grand ways like the Taj Mahal, the Grand Canyon and Eiffel Tower.
From what I can tell, I'm sure you'll find ways to show her the simple quiet beauty that is all around her -- all of the time.
A quiet summer afternoon, an absurdly large piece of orange fruit, the end of a busy day at work followed up by an evening with the family you love. A trade-off made for those you care about, a balancing act you get better at as time ticks on.
As for young idealism and changing the world... You may find that although you cannot change the world, you CAN guide people one at a time, in little ways. Ways that someday will change them and thus change the world. And with a bit of luck and good judgement, both will be changed for the better.
This blog makes me wonder about... your heart,
where your journey might be leading,
what the subtle disquiet is about.
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